(The Frolic) — Very first thing one morning I got a text from one of my friends, the kleuter I get all too often: ",Met my future hubby last night!", My response wasgoed my standard one: ",Get back to mij te three months.",
If I’ve learned one valuable thing from the dating whirligig I’ve bot on for the last six years (give or take six months here or there), it’s that you vereiste wait at least three months before getting excited about the long-term possibilities of a fresh person.
I don’t want to sound cynical or jaded. I totally believe te love for myself and my friends, but what I believe ter more is that it takes a indeed long time to get to know someone and it’s a complicated process. Hurricane romances were all the rage for mij te 1997, but I’m older and wiser now . and no longer wear crimson velvet leopard-print pants.
The very first three months of knowing someone is a time of illusions. Instead of witnessing the person objectively, you see them for who you want them to be. Your object of desire is laden with fantasies and projections. I think it takes about three months to stripverhaal away the layers and embark to see this person for who they indeed are.
I can’t even count the number of times that I or a friend embarked dating someone and days or even weeks straks found out there wasgoed something earnestly messed up about him.
",Oh, you’ve never bot te love and you’re 35?", ",Oh, you just got out of a 10-year relationship last week?", ",Oh, you don’t everzwijn want to have children?", ",Oh, you’re mentally unstable?",
The more and less demonstrable discoveries about another are made te that three-month period. That’s stuff you need to know before you stir forward.
Also, I think three months gives you enough time to see if the fresh person ter your life is consistent. Do they call when they say they’re going to? Do they parasol dates? Do they even have time for dates? Do they want to drape out merienda a week or six times a week and does that mesh with what you want? How do they treat you after a month? Any major disagreements on fundamental things? How do they behave te different situations?
The compatibility check list is endless. You need those three months to gather the gegevens you need to determine if you want this person te your life for the next three months.
With all the disappointments that can come along with dating, I say why bother getting yourself ter a tizzy about someone who could be a Russian spy? That’s why I always say to myself, to my friends, and to you, single people, check te after three months and tell mij how fine the fresh person you’re dating is.
If everything is still coming up roses, maybe I’ll dance a jig with you. But it might take mij six months to a year before I’m buying this ",my future spouse", business.