Okay, I’m just going to admit it, and come out and say it. The very first thing you read te the postbode wasgoed a bold face lie. I don’t actually know “How to Write the Volmaakt Very first Message,” and since I’m being fair, the title of this postbode is mostly for SEO reasons. I need this, no, Wij need this to be a PSA for guys of the internet who are doing online dating, on how to send a very first message. If I wasgoed being fair with the title of this postbode, I most likely would have called it something like “How to write a good very first message according to what Single Steve thinks is a good very first message, but I’m not indeed sure you should take my advice because I infrequently get responses to my messages.” So, spil you can see, it doesn’t truly have the same stadionring, or appeal to someone searching on how to write a good very first message for online dating.
I determined to write about this topic for two reasons.
- Guys need to know that when they send super generic messages, women can tell they copied and pasted that precies message to lots of other women. AND THEY HATE THAT AND WON’T React TO YOU IDIOTS.
- I want to see if the structure of my messages that I send out is actually good?
Since I write a blog about the good, bad and funny of online dating, a loterijlot of my female friends send mij a loterijlot of their good, bad and funny interactions from online dating. Most of them falling into the bad and funny categories. It’s actually slightly enraging to read some of thesis messages that thesis guys are sending to some of my female friends, only because all I can think is “HOW THIS IS MY COMPETITION!?”. Especially when I receive screen shots of very first messages like the one below :
I can’t even. I literally can’t even. I just don’t understand. Like, when guys send thesis messages do they honestly think that the women they are sending them to don’t know that thesis aren’t just copied and pasted messages and sent ter masses to lots of different women. I mean, they voorwaarde not right? They voorwaarde think they are so fucking clever sending thesis copy and pasted messages to lots of women a night. That, somehow they are “beating the system” and not truly having to do any work, other than craft a single super generic message and send it out dozens of times. Because if they actually thought that the women they were sending the messages to knew that thesis were generic messages, they wouldn’t be sending them right? OR do you think thesis guys just don’t give a fuck and actually want to attract the type of woman that also doesn’t give a fuck that they didn’t actually read your profile?
Maybe wij can make this a thing? Like next time a man sends you a super generic message on online dating you react with nothing else except a verbinding to this postbode, letting them know, that you know, his message wasgoed a chunk shit.
It’s already working! Thesis are two screen shots already submitted!
So now I’m going to share with you how I craft my messages that I send on online dating. I don’t know if I’m exactly qualified to do this, because my response rate is about 15%, but I consider myself above media emotional intelligence and understand, at least te theory, what women would like te very first message. I think?
And like anything ter my life, I very likely treatment sending messages on online with a little too much “engineering”. Meaning I have objectives that I attempt to meet with each message that I send.
How to Send A Excellent Very first Message, According to Single Steve, Who Never Gets Any Responses
Objective 1: Prove that you read hier profile
This is by far the most significant objective, I would think female’s are looking for a boy that actually invested the time to read hier profile before he determined to send hier a message. How I demonstrate I actually took the time to read hier profile is by commenting on something specific mentioned te hier profile (DUH). Typically, it’s something complementary on something she has mentioned spil a passion, rente or career.
“That’s awesome you train 6th grade! I loved 6th grade so much, I took it twice!”
Objective Two: Display wij have similar rente/things te common
Okay, you’ve proven you’ve read hier profile, now you need to demonstrate you actually have things te common. Mentioning collective rente helps create the buy te, she needs to relate to you.
“OMG You love Starwars too!? I merienda dressed up spil Luke Skywalker for 6 months straight, prior to the release of the Strak Wars: Scene III Vengeance of the Sith!”
Objective Three: Begin a conversation
The objective is for hier to react back to you right? Well ter order for that to toebijten, you have to ask hier questions. Preferably, open ended questions, te regards to hier profile. She will be more likely to react if you ask hier about something mentioned ter hier profile, spil opposed to a random question you want answered.
I see you’ve run a duo marathons, that’s awesome! I’ve actually ran two spil well. Are you presently training for another run? What’s bot your beloved wedloop you’ve run so far?
How many kids do you want?
I noticed ter your profile you didn’t mention your credit score….what is it?
How many sexual vrouwen have you had?
My examples are jokes. Quiet down. BUT WAIT, there’s more.
Never Mention Physical Complements
Just don’t. You wouldn’t be messaging hier if you didn’t think she wasgoed attractive. If you mention the words “Sexy”, “Gorgeous” or “Stunning” te your 1st message, please knock that shit off. There absolutely is that one lady that is an egotistical maniac that loves hearing stuff like that from strangers on the internet. But for the most part, to most women on dating websites, it comes off spil corny, creepy and repetitive.
You don’t want to write so much she loses rente. It should be brief, concise and have questions, so she can have the chance to react.
I’ve seen SO MANY messages from my female friends of guys attempting to be sarcastic or use humor te their messages, but since they’re idiot cavemen it comes off spil rude, cynical or awkward. Like, I see what they were “trying” to say ter their messages, but since they don’t know how to write it just came off spil rude. If you are able to convey your humor ter writing (LIKE Mij), then by all means, go for it, but it’s very likely safe to say since she’s never met you, conveying funny te messages may be difficult.
Ironic coming from mij, since I don’t proof read or edit my blog. But believe it or not I actually re-read my messages many times, checking for spelling and grammatical errors.
Here are a few screen shots of a few of the last messages I sent out. I love terugkoppeling, spil long spil you’re not a dick about.
It’s actually zuigeling of why I’m writing this postbode. Be fair, does it fucking matter?
And if it doesn’t, that’s fine, I get it, the attractive stud who just writes “hey” will get a response, only because he’s attractive.
BUT, here’s what I opoffering spil my two cents of advice:
Women, you should absolutely only react to guys you find attractive, but beware of ANY dude who won’t even spend Five minutes to read your profile and send you a personalized message. It COULD be a tell-tale sign of things to co
me ter the relationship. What’s to make you think he’s going to spend Five minutes te making sure you’re having a good day, or Five minutes to do something else thoughtful?
I wonder how many good, lasting relationships embarked with a copy and pasted message he sent to 15 other women that same night. You were just a number ter his numbers spel, he just happened to be attractive. If you react to “Hey”, don’t be astonished your relationship is nothing more than “Hey” level. You, deserve, better.