Dr Max Blumberg explains why people take ages to text back, why they play games – and why they’re sometimes VERY keen
- 11:00, 14 FEB
- Updated 11:30, 14 FEB
Imagine you’ve met someone you truly like.
You talk to them, you’ve somehow gotten their number and you’ve bravely violated the ice with a text you’ve spent the last hour composing.
Sadly what may or may not come next, i.e. a satisfactory reply, is often the cause of much analysis and anxiety.
The staring at your phone, checking to see if said phone works, wondering if your love rente is on holiday somewhere remote or fallen down a man slot – waiting for a reply is one of those things wij can’t control.
Wij place a lotsbestemming of importance on texts, but should wij be reading into this?
Providing some insight into this matter is relationship psychologist Dr Max Blumberg, who has spoken to MirrorOnline about what it means when someone takes too long to reply – or replies very quickly.
The good news and the bad news
According to Dr Blumberg, there is indeed a correlation inbetween the time it takes someone to text you, and their strength of feeling.
",Messaging makes the unavoidable toebijten more quickly. If someone fancies you, the chances are they will get back to you quickly".
The rapidity with which people do reply is more of a modern phenomenon however, spil Dr Blumberg explains.
",People get back to you quickly because wij’re permanently dealing with incoming stimuli. Wij’re always ‘on’ and no longer live ter age of delayed gratification.",
Unluckily, the same applies if they do not feel the same way. ",On the other arm, if another person does take their time, it does not postbode well.",
And there’s nothing you can do about it
",The time it takes people to reply to react to a request for a date, much of it relates to the invitees perceived ‘dating value’ relative to the ‘inviter.’",
The term ‘dating value’ may seem a little calculating, but it’s behaviour intrinsic to us, spil Dr Blumberg explains.
",What wij do is wij subconsciously rate people on metrics like appeal, wealth, personality, status, style, IQ, emotional intelligence, goodness and empathy, perceived attitudinal similarities and perceived social liabilities.
",When wij very first meet someone, wij score them on thesis. Then you compare that score to the score you’ve given yourself.",
So if you score someone very, and subconsciously feel you’re both a good match, score-wise, this will dictate your response time. The same applies if they subconsciously believe their score is higher than yours.
There are some factors, however, which mean this rule is not an absolute.
A person may have low self-esteem, or overly-inflated self-esteem, meaning there’ll be a disparity inbetween their score and the score others would give them.
",So,", Dr Blumberg resumes, ",if you see a much older man with a truly youthfull wifey, you can bet it’s the money.
",It’s also why people with inflated opinions of themselves wind up single te middle and elderly age – no one has bot good enough.",
But what if they ARE on holiday? Or truly busy?
On this matter Dr Blumberg is clear. ",Because people do get back to you quickly most of the time, if someone does haul their high-heeled shoes, there are a few reasons, none of them superb.
",Yes, they could be on holiday, or they could be playing games, which are the best outcomes.
",The point is, ter an age of instant messaging there is a reason why they’re choosing to not reply – and they’re not good.",
So is game-playing a bad thing?
People don’t tend to sit on the fence about game-playing. But if that’s why someone is withholding on the texting vuurlijn, it’s not necessarily a sign of weakness on their part, or that they don’t like you.
Te fact, ter terms of heterosexual relationships, game-playing on a woman’s part is down to evolutionary psychology.
",Females play hard to get because it’s te their genes. Evolutionary psychology tells women ‘wij’re carrying the babies, so this man needs to prove his worth.’
",So, game-playing is your genes’ way of delaying you moving forward with someone you see spil a ‘long term’ playmate.
",It’s an indication, from a female, that they might indeed like you.",