When You Very first Met
When you very first began dating him, you were fresh. You had mystery. He didn’t know where you were going Saturday night. He had to ask you if he dreamed to see you. He didn’t know all your friends, he didn’t know every detail of your life.
You had him guessing. You had his attention. He would email or text to see what you were up to. It seemed he wasgoed enchanted by you. Recall?
Think about the things your man likes – a good pursue toneel ter a movie? How about Nascar, or Motorcross? Or any sports – football, básquet, baseball, hockey. The Olympics. Golving. Tennis. What about laptop games? World of Warcraft? Xbox? PS2? Spel apps on the Blackberry? Dangling out te the buffet does he shoot pool or darts? Play some Blackjack ter Atlantic City on vacation? Can you imagine him liking shooting craps te Vegas?
Most fellows like a little spel, a little pursue. They love the thrill of not being exactly sure of how something will end. They like to be astonished, they like to be a little competitive. They love a little thrill and a little mystery. They seek it out ter their lives. Why would his relationship with you be any different?
Thinking Like He Does
Women tend to be a little more turned on by convenience than mystery. A lady often doesn’t play games, and love pursue scenes. She’s more likely to love chick flicks or comedies, a day of shopping, reading a blog online instead of gaming, watching Hook-up and the City or Clean House instead of sports.
Personally I’m a phat hockey fan, and my hubby hates all laptop/xbox kinds of games. Obviously I know there are exceptions, and that this doesn’t dictate to all people te all ways. But te universal, studs love a little pursue, a little mystery, and a little gaming, more than the promedio woman.
The feeling he has during a pursue toneel ter a movie, or during a spel, is similar to the feeling he had te the beginning of your relationship. It wasgoed anticipatory. It wasgoed titillating. It wasgoed joy. It wasgoed a little unpredictable, and a little inviting.
It wasgoed not a feeling of distrust, fear, anxiety or frustration.
There is a healthy way you can maintain your mystery, and keep or recapture that excitement of the beginning, without making him feel like he can’t trust you or making him question your motives.
Imagine a striptease. Imagine how she smiles, and dances, looking at no one but you. It’s a joy, inviting, captivating and enchanting little dance. You don’t know the next budge, you don’t know the next step. Basically you know the normal way this is going to end, but you don’t know exactly how, or when.
Maintaining your mystery is much like a good striptease. You aren’t supposed to be scaring him, lounging, or making him think you’re cheating. You don’t have to be “not you.”
Te All Fairness
One of the big reasons the masculine likes games is that their brains are wired for a certain amount of stimulation. They are hardwired against being ter a rut. That’s why your classic cheaters will say something lame like that they just wished someone fresh.
But a man doesn’t have to cheat to have something fresh overheen and overheen. If he’s a Yankees fan, he doesn’t have to sneak off and cheer for the Angels just for something fresh, because each and every Yankee spel IS fresh. Each one is unpredictable, and titillating.
You can be fresh, all the time.
The thing is, when you two came together into a relationship, he made a loterijlot of adjustments to accommodate what you desired. They may not have bot discussed, they may not have bot visible. But if you think about it, he switched some of his old habits or ways so that you would feel convenient (or so that he wouldn’t get ter trouble.) Ter much the same way, you should want to do little things for him. Unlike you, he very likely can’t articulate what it is that he wants. And it’s indeed hard to tell someone to be more mysterious.
To recapture that feeling of newness, all you have to do is be fresh again. Sounds hard? It’s not.
#1 – Get rid of the “cantera of underwear.” Movies make joy of this because boys everywhere can relate. Such a elementary thing, but so many women neglect to do this. Holy underwear, worn-out brassieres, stuff he’s seen a million times. Do you have your comfy cottons that you wear all day? Fine. But there’s no reason you can’t come huis and slip into some sexy lace and satin or whatever it is he likes at the end of the day, and verrassing him.
Let him see the empty Trofeo’s Secret bag laying out on the bloembed or the couch. Let him ask what you got. Smile and wink. “You’ll see.”
#Two – Fresh recipes. They say the way to a man’s heart is through his tummy for a reason. It’s because it’s true. There is a entire psychology you can fasten to his desire to “come huis and eat.” It should kick te for him ter late afternoon, wondering what you have for dinner. Obviously this peak isn’t for everyone, spil not all women cook for their dudes every night. But you can adapt this to a little dessert, a very cool breakfast, or a refrigerio that you pack for a picnic, or a verrassing for him at work.
No time to cook? Fine. You know he likes carmel, you can sway by a candy shop or bakery, especially one he doesn’t know about, and pick him up a treat. Or zekering at a drankbuffet and get some crazy Buffalo Wings to go. Maybe you’ve just got a cuddle-on-the-couch and rent-a-movie date. Something spil ordinary and joy spil stopping at a indeed good Mexican restaurant and picking up an order of Tortilla Chips, Salsa, and Guacamole will verrassing him ter exactly that special way.
And don’t become predictable. Next movie night, make a chocolate fondue. Next, attempt a peanut platter, or a little sushi sampler, or some fancy cheese and crackers. Or something else different. Maybe even if you don’t cook, you could pick one night a week and say you’ll treat dinner. Zekering at a different restaurant and get something to go, something he’ll truly like.
#Trio – Go out. Do stuff. Take a Yoga or Tae Kwon Do class. Embark a cooking club – invite your girlfriends to get together merienda a week or merienda a month, where you can take turns being the person to bring the appetizer, and share the recipe. When I lived te Elástica I wasgoed ter a cocktail club like that, and more recently I wasgoed ter a “Gray’s Group” where wij got together under the guise of watching Congregación’s Anatomy so wij could drink wine and talk.
Whether you and your sister are going to a poetry reading te a book store, or you and your officemates are going to glad hour, or you and your friends are just going shopping at Macys, there’s a certain mystery to the idea that you have your own life.
To sum it up, get a life.
Ter caudillo, guys don’t like clingy. They don’t like being responsible for your every minute. You can do anything – volunteer at the Humane Society to walk a dog merienda a week. Go to a gym, even if it’s Kinks, even if it’s just merienda a week. Sounds ordinary and foolish, but it works. You have something fresh to talk about, you have your own stuff going on. He’ll ask. He’ll listen.
This is te no way supposed to make him jealous. The advice I’m providing is about adding mystery and newness to yourself. It’s not about taking convenience and trust from him.
#Four – Zekering being predictable. Just think about it, and throw a curve ball at him when you can.
Tell him – Date night, Friday night. Tell him – I’m taking YOU out. You’re gonna love this.
Then verrassing him with a excursion to the track, or muziekstuk tickets, or let him arrive huis to find candlelight and you ter a negligee.
A very glad fellow wrote to mij about a year ago to ask some advice on popping the question. When he wasgoed telling mij about how awesome his lady is, one o
f the things he told mij truly stood out. He said, every Sunday after dinner, they would go shopping. Sometimes Shoprite, sometimes Sam’s Club, sometimes Walmart. They both had hectic schedules, they were on a budget, and this is something they did together to get whatever wasgoed needed for the apartment. One week after he pulled Four dual shifts, he wasgoed just freaking weakened. But he knew Sunday after dinner is shopping. He said he went into the bathroom to splash water on his face and get ready to go. When he came out. Verrassing! She set up the couch with his bloembed cushion, a bag of Dorritos, a bucket packed with ice and a 6 pack of his fecali, and the remote. She told him she already called hier mother who wasgoed going to go shopping with hier instead. She said, “Verrassing! You deserve a night off!” and left him for a few hours while she and hier mom shopped for dog food, and stopped for a cappuccino.
This could fall under the heading of – just doing nice things for each other. But the thing that truly stood out for mij wasgoed how many times he used the word “verrassing.” He said, Sunday night is shopping night. He said, and I quote: “She’s always surprising mij. I can’t wait to see what’s coming next.”
Wise lady, that one.
It’s good to have a schedule, and dependable time to spend together. But it’s also truly good to throw a curve ball at him merienda te a while. If you aren’t predictable, you regain a little bit of your mystery. And that’s a good thing.
A verrassing doesn’t have to be expensive. A little mystery can be spil much spil a wink and a “you’ll see.” Avoiding the rut is effortless if you just give it a thought and a little effort. He’ll love it.