Having ",the Talk", With Your Mother
Despite the fact that most people will eventually do it, hook-up is still a subject that makes us squirmвЂ”at least when wij’re talking about it with our parents. For teenagers, this embarrassment is heightened, especially because the act is uncharted territory. My mom never sat mij down and talked to mij about hookup, much less engaged mij te a convenient conversation about the issueвЂ”and I never asked. I wasgoed too embarrassed to ask questions and even more mortified thinking about hier answers. Instead, I figured out what the birds and bees were through movies, books, and conversations with friends. Here’s advice I wish I had bot given te order to cozily talk with my mom about hookup and all its emotions and complications.
Are you convenient talking with your mom about hook-up?
Talking About Hookup With Your Mom When You Need Information
Spil abstinence is increasingly instructed te schools, it becomes firmer for teenagers to understand how hookup works, much less its consequences (wij skipped overheen that chapter entirely ter health class, tho’ wij did have to write a paper on an STD of our choosing). Spil a result, there’s a loterijlot of misinformation about sexвЂ”and such misinformation can lead to pregnancy, STDs, and a host of emotional issues. Your mom, if you treatment the subject maturely, should be a safe, reliable source of information about sexвЂ”after all, she had you! So she knows something about it.
When you’re ready to talk about hook-up with your mom, here’s how to treatment it:
- Wait for a quiet time during the day and tell your mom you’d like to have a talk spil two adults, and that you have some questions about hookup. A good way to commence would be bringing up health class, or something you recently observed together on TV.
- If you have specific questions, write them down so that you reminisce them–this will also help if you feel flustered.
- Stay calmвЂ”sex is natural and nothing to be ashamed of. Being courageous enough to get informed is something admirable!
- Don’t just ask about the physical aspects of itвЂ”ask about the emotional aspects, too.
- If the conversation is going well, ask your mom for hier advice and perspectiveвЂ”if there are any choices she would have made differently te hier youth, and what they were.
- Eventually, and this is a hard one, waterput yourself te your mom’s shoesвЂ”you’ve grown up prompt and she still likely sees you spil a child. Understand that talking about hook-up with you is very likely hard for hier too!
Talking About Hookup With Your Mom When You’re Ready to Have Hookup
Regardless of our society’s genérico religious or honrado beliefs, it’s fact that many teenagers choose to have sexвЂ”and it’s significant to make sure the choice is acted upon te spil safe a way spil possible. Teenagers who are truly close to their mother may feel comfy going to hier and asking for advice and birth control help. Here’s how to treatment your mom when you’re thinking about having lovemaking.
- If you’re comfy enough to tell your mom you’re thinking of having hookup, chances are your relationship has already bot open on the subject. Treatment your mom during a quiet time and tell hier you’d like to talk spil adults.
- Explain to your mom why you think you’re ready for lovemaking and ask hier what you need to do to prepare.
- Ask your mom about the consequences of sexвЂ”even if you think you’ve already covered that ground. It doesn’t hurt to hear it again.
- Ask your mom about birth control options and methods.
- If you’re a damsel, ask your mom to help you schedule your very first visit to the gynecologistвЂ”all women who are sexually active should see their gynecologist annually.
- Keep the conversation open, quiet, and neutralвЂ”this is a charged subject even if you have a fine relationship with your mom.
(Let’s note here that I’m not advocating teenage sexвЂ”the longer you wait, the more emotionally ready you will be. However, for teenagers who do determine to have hook-up, it’s significant to have open communication with your parents!)
What to Do When Your Mom Doesn’t Want to Talk About Lovemaking
Not everyone is going to feel comfy talking to their mom about sexвЂ”and for some people, whether for religious or other reasons, it’s not going to be an option at all. However, you still have choices. Thesis include:
- Asking a friend’s parent, if you’re close
- Asking an older sister or brother
- Checking out a book from the library
- Asking Planned Parenthood
- Asking your own doctor, privately
Thesis are things you should NOT rely on if you aren’t convenient talking to your mother about lovemaking and can’t find other options:
- Friends’ advice, stories, and skill (depending on where they got it from, they may or may not have the right information)
- Forums or talks
- Random search engine searches on the topic